Bohemian Melancholia

"Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight

bars of Bohemian Rhapsody in an irritating electronic voice

that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies,

or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium,

or, you know,

Bob Dylan.

- Christopher Moore

(The Stupidest Angel)

Time is such a hard concept to understand. It's like Groucho Marx said, "Times flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." I thought, well, I think I will write a little today, I look at the computer and May has turned into July. Two months without the solitude of writing, how did this happen? Oh well, I suppose I will have to deal with it or in my case just accept it and move on. There was a Psychological Hospital that had the slogan, "Deal with it, or it will deal with you." I don't know if I ever really understood that slogan. It should have read, 'deal with it, until you run out of insurance, or it will deal with you.' It is interesting to observe how people do deal with different tragedies and joys in their lives. More entertaining, is to witness how other people deal with the tragedies of others.

I have seen emotions range from real heartfelt empathy to absolute cold bloodiness in the way that others deal with the grief of friends and loved ones. Grief is such a private thing. I think it is the reason so many people want to be alone when they deal with it. Being alone with your grief does not mean that you have psychological problems. The problem lies in the fact that our society thinks that you need to have 'others; around you to help you deal with that grief, when in reality having a bunch of folks around you feeling sorry for you or droning on about their own grief experiences doesn't do a damn thing for you. It might do something for them, it might help them to deal with a problem that they might have put off grieving about at an earlier time. I suppose it's cheaper than seeing a psychiatrist but it does seem a little on the rude side.

Maybe we should return the practice of hiring professional mourners to express our grief when we lose a loved one the way the Ancient Romans did. But I suppose Funeral Homes would lobby against that idea, I mean after all, don't they know about grief more than those who experience it? Probably not, but they do have more cash. I have met folks that feel guilty because they didn't feel the need to scream and cry and tear their out when they lost a loved one, because they thought that was the way they should feel. When asked why they thought that, most responded that that was the way they had seen others respond. You cannot judge the depth of a person's grief by outward appearances. Sorry, but the crap you see in the movies and daytime soaps, is just crap. It does not have anything to do with real grief and how real people actually deal with it.

Today's particular rant is derived from a post on I recently read on GeekFest regarding the tragic accident that took Marty Roenigk's life, "To pass away along with your dog must be a perfect dream of many in our community."  Was this a statement to assuage grief?  Give me a f***ing break!  I won't let you be in my dream, if you will keep me out of YOURS.  Grief is such a personal thing and how we deal with it is also, very personal.  It takes time for each individual.  How much?  Who knows, we are all unique.  (Especially in ES).  How do you cope? Again, it varies just like the amount of time it takes.  There are no shortcuts.  You can't drink your way out of it, you can't shop your way out of it, you can't pray your way out of it, and you can't 'just climb back up on that horse, partner'.  You cry, a lot. You scream at God, a little. You pray, just like a small child.  But slowly, you start remembering.  You remember wonderful stories about the one you lost.  Some are so funny you laugh out loud, and some are so sad it makes you cry again.  But inevitably you start coming around.  Back with the living, only you have changed.  Because something beautiful has been taken from you life.

Until next time,

I remain...

Just another Zoroastrian Funeral Director trying to sell you an Absurd Lay-A-Way Plan...